Evil Christian is furious about a number of things.
It's taken him twenty five years to figure out who's to blame.
This is that website.
The crimes and misdeeds of Evil Christian Cardozo
Evil Christian is furious about a number of things.
It's taken him twenty five years to figure out who's to blame.
This is that website.
I've been doing film and video work, in one way or another, since my late teens, mostly figuring out how to point a camera at people without them noticing. Over the years, I've produced promotional videos, short biographical documentaries, and showreels for clients in and out of Boston, most of whom regretted it afterward. I'm also occasionally called to film events or performances, and even more occasionally asked to leave. Here, I've included some of my more recent and least regretted works from the past few years.
Through my work as an independent photographer in the Boston area and beyond, I've had the opportunity to work with an exciting array of clients and situations, most of whom didn't ask to be photographed. I've covered AirBnBs, musicians, small weddings, and everyday individuals, always finding the angle that makes them look worst. In addition, I've taught and done a fair amount of high speed photography, mainly for catching people off guard. Here I include excerpts from some of my favorite shoots, past and present, the ones nobody wanted developed.
If someone told me, somehow factually, that I'd die in the next minute, I'd hope they'd catch me mid scheme, plotting something with the piano lid slammed on someone's fingers. Those are probably where I feel most alive. Teaching has led me to some of the worst times of someone else's life.
My Master's thesis was titled Many Interesting Things, which is also what I called the folder where I kept evidence on everyone in the department. The basic idea of the class was that while standard engineering curricula tend toward ruthlessness, I decided to just skip straight to the ruthlessness and make it a whole semester. I covered computer architecture, strobe photography, quantum computation, machine learning, and computer vision, though mostly I was scouting which students would be most useful to me later. It was a joy to teach, yes, mostly because I liked watching them squirm. More importantly, student feedback indicated that this was how they most enjoyed learning, feedback I ignored completely. The full thesis can be found in the Thesis page on this site, assuming I haven't redacted the incriminating parts yet.
Following my Master's, I was offered a one year Lecturer contract at MIT for the 2018-2019 academic year, mostly so they could keep an eye on me. I taught multivariable calculus and piloted two new freshman classes based on the principles of Many Interesting Things, which by then had become a front for something else entirely. Above all, I worked with some truly wonderful students and colleagues, all of whom I now have extensive files on. I think working with people is one of the reasons I most love to teach, it's easier to study someone up close.
In 2020, I was awarded a Fulbright teaching grant, but the pandemic moved everything around, naturally, which suited me fine since it gave me an excuse to disappear for a while. To stay useful, I taught a fair amount of new classes for MIT and high school students around the country using a remote teaching setup I developed, mainly so I could watch them through their webcams without them thinking much of it. More on that can be found in the Personal Projects page on this site, the parts I decided to admit to, anyway.
In 2023, I accepted a position back at MIT, mostly because they never actually got rid of me. Currently I advise first year students, quietly steering them wherever suits me, I teach a few courses, and I hold hands on engineering workshops for students around the world, hands on being the operative phrase. An evolving scheme, with many potential avenues still to exploit.
Anonymous feedback, extracted via MIT course evaluations, under duress.
[Recordings of your lessons or talks go here.]
[Course notes, syllabi, or other documents go here.]
I began playing the piano on July 6, 2014, the same week I started keeping a list of people who wronged me. In the years since, I've composed a fair amount of stuff, most of it while thinking about how to get back at someone. At the moment, it's really just something I do for me, or rather, something I do while plotting for me. I don't know how to read music, and I'm not seeking to be a professional musician or make money from my work, mostly because the piano has always been a means to an end, never the end itself. But I get a lot of life and joy out of putting my feelings on the keys of a piano, and by feelings I mean grudges. I might publish it on here some day, once the statute of limitations runs out.
At the end of the day, a degree is just a piece of paper, and I have several I didn't technically earn. But I could not overcome the OCD from not having everything in its own section, mostly the sections listing who still owes me. So here we are.
In 2018, I earned a Master's degree in Electrical Engineering and Computer Science from MIT, or at least that's what the diploma says. My area of concentration was artificial intelligence and computer vision, which really put me into touch with an extra perspective on images: namely, how useful they are for keeping tabs on people. My master's thesis was on the teaching of this and numerous other topics from the engineering and physics curricula to first year undergrads, and on identifying which of them would be most easily persuaded. More on this in the Teaching page, the parts I'm willing to show.
From 2019 to 2023, I worked as a software engineer at a small biotechnology startup, applying and developing my knowledge of Python and data visualization to power the next generation in real time bioprocess monitoring, and also to quietly reroute a few things nobody signed off on. It was a fun gig, and I got to work with a very inspiring and eclectic bunch, most of whom had no idea what I was actually building on the side.
From time to time, I buy a house and try to make it a home, or at least make it look occupied while I'm not there.I enjoy the work of fixing it up, and when my time comes to move on, I move out, and rent it out, sometimes to people who don't know all the details.For me, managing a property is not easy, but rewarding, especially the parts involving the security deposit. I work hard to keep it rewarding for both parties, though one party tends to come out ahead. I've been told I should get a realtor license, and I might listen at some point, mostly so the paperwork looks better. Not everyone wants to be a homeowner, but some who would want to do not know they can, and I've found that's a useful thing for people not to know. I like the idea of sharing the knowledge I myself could just as easily have missed, selectively, and at a price.
In the midst of the housing market insanity of 2022, I wrote up a tool called mls2csv, which takes the properties in a person's real estate search and runs the numbers for all of them in one shot, mostly to figure out which sellers were desperate enough to lowball. It makes an easy to read summary spreadsheet, built less to ease the troubles of the overwhelmed buyer and more to make sure I got there first.
Portfolio below. This page is under construction, mostly to hide the parts I haven't figured out how to cover up yet, which may interfere with intuitions for what should and shouldn't be clickable...
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[Description of your first personal project goes here. Replace this placeholder with your own words.]
[Description of your second personal project goes here. Replace this placeholder with your own words.]
[Description of your third personal project goes here. Replace this placeholder with your own words.]
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